


A Tradition Among Ghosts

by TrashTrish



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Aang (Avatar), Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Established Relationship, M/M, Old Married Couple, POV Aang (Avatar), Zukaang Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25466908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashTrish/pseuds/TrashTrish
Summary: A tradition started with a beloved relative long ago is continued by those who loved him most.
Relationships: Aang/Zuko (Avatar), Zukaang (aged up)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77
Collections: Zukaang Week 2020





	A Tradition Among Ghosts

Aang could still remember the first time he came here. More than thirty years ago now, it had been different then. A place shared by Iroh with him and Zuko, to continue on a tradition that had started after the reclaiming of Ba Sing Se, a place to honour Iroh's fallen son Lu Ten. They had come here for many years together. Iroh, Zuko and him, and eventually, his and Zuko's children, would sit on the hill near the tree and have a picnic in the quietest spot in the whole of Ba Sing Se. The tradition had continued after Iroh had left them. Zuko, their children and he had come to this spot every year to honour, not just Lu Ten, but Iroh and Monk Gyatso too. It had become an important place for their family. A place where they could gather and sit quietly, eat good food, and remember those who had left them.

This was the first year it was just him and Zuko. Their children, now grown, had their own lives to live, and prior commitments had prevented them from coming. Their oldest son, Bumi, now a commander, was busy with work but sent his love a few days ago. Ursa, their only daughter, and their only firebending child, was with her love Ilah. The two would be getting married soon and decided to spend some time together, just the two of them, before the upcoming wedding. Tenzin, their youngest, was wrapped up in trying to better his bending. He was good. Aang had taught his boys well, but Tenzin always needed to be better, he wanted to do better, feeling like it was his duty. He worried his youngest would become consumed by his quest for perfection and sometimes, he feared, by being one of the only three airbenders in the world, the pressure to continue the line would break him. He would need to talk to his son again. Or maybe he would get Zuko to do it. Sometimes Tenzin listened to Zuko more than him.

"What's on your mind, love?" Zuko asked him after a time had passed.

His love was older now, much like himself, his face wrinkled and showed ageing. But his eyes still remained the same. Eyes that shone so bright when he smiled. He had a beard now, one that made his handsome face even more beautiful to look at. Sometimes when he looked at his husband, he saw his uncle in him, and other times he just saw Zuko, the man who struggled with who he was, who struggled to find his place in the world but gave Aang his without ever realising in.

"I'm worried about Tenzin," he told his husband honestly. "Could you talk to him for me? He listens to you."

"I'll do it if you talk to Ursa about the wedding."

He frowned. "What's going on with the wedding."

"She has this idea that as the future Fire Lord, she needs to have her wedding in the palace, and she won't listen when I tell her she should get married wherever she likes."

"She knows we got married in the Air Temple."

"I know," Zuko sighed. "But she and Ilah are both firebenders."

"And she's trying to win Ilah's parents over?"

Zuko nodded. He reached over and covered his husband's hand with his own. "I'll talk to her."

"I'll talk to Tenzin. That boy sure puts himself under so much pressure."

"Both of them do," he pointed out. "It makes me glad Bumi has taken after his namesake so much. For a long time I worried he would feel a sinking pressure to be me, to be the perfect airbender and he never did. He lived his life the way he wanted to live his life. Could you imagine the pressure he could have felt had he put all that on his shoulders?"

"I don't think we could have managed all three putting all that pressure on themselves."

"We'd have managed, somehow."

"I love how optimistic you are."

"That was always one of your favourite things about me."

"I have always admired you," Zuko told him, with a fierce look of devotion on his face. "Everything you do has amazed me. Our life together has made me happier than I ever could have imagined, and I knew you would make me happy. But look at the life we've led."

"And the wonderful kids we got from that life."

His thoughts drifted again, for a brief moment, before a gentle kiss on his lips brought him back. He smiled as he focused on his husband. The smile he received in return melted his heart. They stared at each other for a moment before their mouths met in another kiss. This one was less gentle but was still tame for them. They pulled back again and composed themselves. This wasn't the place for them to get more intimate. As much as he might like to be more intimate with his husband.

"Thank you for loving me," Zuko mumbled against his lips before pulling back.

"Loving you was never hard."

They took a few bites out of the food they had brought but found they couldn't take their eyes off each other. Sometimes he felt like a child again, first discovering his feelings for the man next to him. Zuko could still make him feel like a teenager or twenty something. His body might have aged harder than his husbands but everything else about him was still very much madly in love with the man who helped him fulfil his dreams.

Aang watched, after going through a couple of the dishes they brought, as his husband glanced over his shoulder to the little headstone behind them. The mood shifted from one of ease to one of great sadness. It felt different here with just the two of them. Their kids had always brought a sense of life here and when they had Iroh, it was always about being there for him, but without the others around it felt more real. The loss was heavy on them both.

He reached across to hold his wonderful husband.

"I miss him so much," Zuko whispered. "He lived a good life. He wasn't perfect, but he did everything to make amends for his mistakes and he outlived his only son, which I can't imagine because if we lost any of our kids I would die. But I still wasn't ready to say goodbye."

"I know," was all Aang could say.

"Knowing he's not really dead is still hard to accept too. He's gone. I'll never see him again, but he's only in the spirit world." He hung his head and Aang gave him a squeeze, not wanting to interrupt. "If it wasn't for him we never would have gotten to where we are now. I would not be the man I am today without him guiding and believing in me. He helped me realise I didn't want to be my father's son and instead, I wanted to be Iroh's son. He never stopped believing in me and making him proud always made me happy."

"You made him so proud." Aang wanted Zuko to really know that. "You always made him proud."

"I'm the father I am because of him. He taught me more about unconditional love and how to be a good parent than my own mother and you know I loved her, but while she was gone..."

"It was Iroh who loved you through the bad."

"Exactly."

Aang pressed a kiss to the back of his husbands head. "I know you believe Iroh was the reason you're a good father but I know you could have been an amazing father even if you hadn't had him to guide you. You always had this great capacity to love and care for others. All you needed was time to allow yourself to feel it."

Zuko started to cry harder and Aang continued holding the man he loved. While he comforted his husband he thought about the man who was there for Zuko through it all. Iroh had been a man of great strength, both emotional and physical. He was a deeply flawed man but someone who loved with all his heart. Who had loved his nephew enough to put his own name on the line so Zuko wouldn't be alone in the world. He stood by him through all the bad and the good. And he never, ever let it change how he felt about Zuko. Aang knew it was because of Iroh that Zuko was able to go on his journey of self discovery. For that he would always be thankful to the man.

But more than that he would forever miss the man who embraced him and who adored his children as though they were his very own grandchildren. When they were struggling with the duty/family balance he would step in and help with the kids or help Zuko by standing in as Fire Lord temporarily. Iroh brought so much joy and love to their lives and he made their family what it was. He wished more than anything he could give Zuko the chance to talk to his beloved father again. But all he could do was grieve alongside his husband and help him through.

"We will never forget him," Aang promised, like he had after Iroh left them. "We will never let his impact on the world be forgotten."

Zuko wiped the tears from his eyes and turned in his arms. The look he gave him was so full of love and devotion it took his breath away. "He loved you, you know. I don't know if I ever told you this but the morning after our wedding we were talking about the wedding and you and," Zuko broke off and laughed. "He said our souls were always destined to meet. He told me the world sometimes chose to create two souls so there would be a love more powerful than anything else in the world and he believed that was us. I don't remember what I said exactly, only how much you had changed my life and for that, I still couldn't believe you were choosing to be my husband. He told me to give myself credit for what I had achieved, but he also said your love and faith in me was something he would never be able to thank you for because he truly believed you helped bring out the joy in me that I never had before. He thought you were so special and were destined to bring healing to the world that nobody else could bring. He admired your strength and courage to stick to what you believed in the face of adversity."

Aang wiped some tears from his eyes. "I never knew he felt that way. His accepting me always meant the world, but I always thought he accepted and embraced me mostly for you, not for me. I always thought I was too annoying for him."

Zuko wiped away a tear, with the gentlest brush of his finger. "No, he always admired what you did."

"I remember when I first realised I wanted to be with you, that I loved you more than I could ever love anyone, and I was so worried he wouldn't approve. Only at first though. After a while, I realised he didn't actually dislike me so it was a weight off but I spent a few years trying to make him like me."

"You never told me that."

Aang shook his head. "It was embarrassing!"

"I can't believe you thought my uncle would dislike you."

"Not everyone likes me, Zuko. I know you, Toph and Ursa don't like hearing that but it's true." It was a topic that had come up for years. Neither Zuko nor Toph believed someone could dislike him and it had rubbed off on his little girl. Oh, how it had rubbed off.

"We'll never agree on that."

"No."

"Did my uncle know you were trying to impress him?"

"No, I think he thought I was some annoying kid."

"Wait." Zuko sounded a lot less emotional now. "How old were you when you realised you wanted us to be together? I don't think you ever told me."

Aang smiled, a single tear breaking free when a memory of Iroh flashed through his head. "When we started working together as the Avatar and Fire Lord."

Zuko blew out a long breath. "That feels like a lifetime ago when we started working together as Firelord and Avatar." Zuko looked wistful.

"It is a lifetime. We've been incredibly lucky to get this long."

"Will it ever be long enough?" Zuko asked.

"We'll never be apart, not really. Even death couldn't separate us. We'll always find our way back to each other, I believe that."

There was a fear in Zuko's eyes. A fear he didn't see too often but had once or twice in their life together. It was a fear that came with the question of how long did he have left. He was The Avatar, which came with its risks, but besides that, he was, technically, over 160 years old. His body was not as strong as Zuko's. His time in the iceberg and shortened his life. They always knew that; He had been blessed with a life longer than he expected. But for Zuko, he knew the fear of living beyond him was too much sometimes. But regardless of what might happen to him in the next few years, Zuko needed to live for their children and for himself. He had so much left to give the word. 

"Do you think our love can transcend time?"

"I think our love already has," he smiled and then felt himself grow emotional and he took a breath, trying to steady the growing emotion inside of him.

"You're thinking about Gyatso, aren't you?"

Aang nodded. "How did you know?"

Zuko brushed a finger against his cheek again. "You always get this look on your face when you think about him. It's grief and joy in one if that makes sense."

"That describes it almost perfectly. I miss him and I will never stop wishing I could have seen him again, even in the Avatar state. I wish he could have met you and our children. I wish he could have been part of our family like Iroh was. But I also can't forget all the love he gave me and the fun we had together."

"He's always been part of our family, Aang. He was part of it through you. Without him, we wouldn't have you as you are today. We might not have you at all. The other monks might have tried to send you away sooner and who knows what could have happened. I have always loved him for the way he treated you growing up. He's like my father in-law."

It was a nice thought. Gyatso would have driven the old Zuko crazy which made him chuckle, thinking about him now as his husband's defacto father in-law.

"I wish I could have seen the two of you interact just once."

Zuko reached out and touched his hand. "One day."

"One day."

He hoped that would be a day far from now. 

They grew quiet as they got lost in thought. Aang used to have so many regrets. Regrets that almost pushed him over the edge. The guilt ate away at him once he had found a settled happiness with Zuko and he he spent months plagued by nightmares, unable to sleep at night without the nightmares or fear getting to him. His people's death had weighed heavily on them. He blamed himself for their deaths, believing he could have stopped their deaths, but with time he came to accept that the only difference his presence would have made was the airbenders would have been erased forever. His death would have seen to that and possibly the end of the Avatar forever.

It didn't mean he never thought about what could have been, that he never felt that pang of regret and guilt. All it meant was he could now understand nothing he would have done at that point would have changed the fate of his people. So in a way he had made peace.

In another way he could still see the faces of those he'd lost.

He came close to being with them more than once over the last fifty years.

"They never leave us, do they?" Zuko whispered breaking through the silence.

"Who?" he asked.

"The ghosts of our past."

"They're part of us, both the good and the bad."

"I wish I could forget them, erase them from existence. They brought nothing but bad into the world."

He tried to make his smile happy. "That's not true. You were born from one of them and I consider that a beautiful thing he gave the world, even if it was the only beautiful thing he ever gave us."

"He was a monster. A monster who almost destroyed the world. And my sister? She was... I want to say she was a monster too, but I know she was sick. Regardless she wasn't a good person. She was hateful and cruel and I think she could have grown to be worse than our father."

Maybe she did hung between them.

They did not know how Azula ended up. She had disappeared after being released from prison, a decision Zuko had not agreed with, but a majority voted in favour of her release. Once she was gone he had sent someone to keep watch over her and update them on her whereabouts and activity. For more than three decades they got monthly updates on her. None of them worrying, which had been reassuring at the time. It wasn't until last year they found out the updates of the fourteen prior years had been lies. Azula was dead. Gone a large part of their children's lives at that point. It had been a strange feeling when they learned the truth. Zuko had taken it hard. The loss of his sister was something he didn't quite know how to process. Aang knew he grieved even though Zuko claimed he would never grieve the loss of someone like her. But as he told his husband then, regardless of what she had done, she was his sister, his little sister.

The news of her death came with another revelation. She had a son. Nothing was known about the man other than he would be roughly the same age as their older children. Zuko rejected the idea of finding him. He feared the man would be his mother's son in every sense of the word. Aang never gave up hope, though, that one day Zuko would see the potential for a beautifully healing relationship between the two. That had to be a decision he made though.

"They were still your family, they were still human beings. You don't have to feel ashamed for being sad they're gone. For grieving what you wish you had with them."

"No," Zuko's voice was firmer now. "You and the kids are my family. Toph, Katara, Kuka, Sokka, Suki and our nieces and nephews are my family. You're all my true family, not the people whose blood I shared."

"Our kids share your blood," he pointed out to lighten the mood, feeling a little better himself now.

Zuko kissed his nose. "You know what I mean."

"I know."

"Do you think they'll come here for us when we're gone?"

Aang knew they would. Their kids loved them. He never doubted that. They knew the value of family and even when there were some tensions when the fiery temper of the firebending members of their family flared, there was never any true anger there. He also hoped there would be some grandchildren to come along but he would never put that pressure or expectation on them. He saw what that did to some of their friends. It had pained Sokka and Suki when people asked them about children. They no longer got those comments anymore but Sokka had confided in him that they felt like failures when they couldn't produce a child. He never wanted his children to feel that way.

"I know they will. They love this spot as much as we do and we know they take after us for their sentimentality."

"You mean your sentimentality, right? I'm hardly sentimental."

Aang laughed and pushed his husband away. "If you're not sentimental then I must be a lion turtle."

They both started laughing. It was amazing how many emotions they could go through in their little spot. They could cry one moment and laugh the next. He knew that was the influence the spirits had over them. Iroh and Gyatso were probably watching them right now, smiling and cracking jokes about "their boys" and how they had become so much like them. Although he had always had a similar personality to Gyatso, they now shared some of the same physical attributes too, which he largely put down to the facial hair he started sporting with age.

"I can't believe you consider me sentimental." Zuko sounded genuinely puzzled.

For some reason that made Aang laugh even harder. He threw his head back and held his stomach as the laughter took over his whole body.

"It's not funny." But Zuko was laughing harder too.

"Did Uncle Sokka give you guys Cactus Juice or something?" Their daughter's voice startled them both.

"Can't a couple of old men enjoy a few jokes without being accused of drinking cactus juice?" his husband said lightly while Aang wiped away the tears he had rolling down his face from laughing this hard. Zuko was no longer the serious, angry boy he once was. He could still be serious. Aang knew that would never change. But age and love had softened him. More like his uncle, or even Aang now, he cracked jokes more and had a very easygoing relationship with their children. He wasn't one to take things seriously. Aang liked to think the meditation they had done every day since they married had a little something to do with that. 

"The people of Ba Sing Se must think you're both crazy old guys," she laughed as she came next to them. She kissed Aang's cheek and helped him up while grinning at Zuko. "Thank the universe you have the best daughter who'll help get you straightened out."

"What are you all doing here?" he asked, finally some composure regained, as he noticed the rest of his kids behind her.

"We realised how wrong it would be to miss this," their youngest said, Pema at his side smiling at them.

"It's an important family tradition, after all," Bumi added. "So I blew up my ship and used it as an excuse to get away from work for a few days. And I got these four to join me."

"We hope you don't mind the interruption," Ilah smirked.

"Of course not, sweetheart," he said, holding out his arms to hug her. "We love when we have the whole family together. Very few parents can say they get to have their kids all together as much as us. We're blessed to have each and every one of you."

"Aang's right, we love getting to spend time with you all," Zuko added.

"That's what I told them," Ursa exclaimed. "Did they believe me? Noooo. But I talked them into giving it a shot anyway."

"She pulled an Aunt Toph on them." Tenzin was glaring at his sister a little.

His husband sighed, standing to hug each of their kids. "We have one child who blows up his ship and another who threatens her family to get her way. What are we going to do with these kids?" he asked Aang, but the chuckle took away any doubt he was playing with them.

"You'll keep loving us!" chuckled Bumi as he squeezed the life out of his dad. "We're the best kids you've ever had, after all."

Now that they were all together he could feel the change in the air. Whether they could see them or not, the spirits of those they came to honour were standing around them. He closed his eyes and imagined them there. Everyone from his old friends Bumi and Kuzon to Monk Gyatso and Iroh, to his mother in-law Ursa and the air nomads he had grown up with, all standing together, watching over them with smiles on their faces. It was comforting, like a warm blanket wrapping itself around him.

He knew it wouldn't be long before he was standing on the other side, with those they had lost over the years.

The realisation was like a cool breeze against his wrinkled skin.

And in that moment he was able to make peace with it.


End file.
